Adaptations

                                                                              



      Manjunath is Bangalore’s quintessential local lad. He could be the boy next door, the milkman, auto driver, newspaper boy, executive or bank employee.  He is omnipresent in Karnataka’s landscape just as Unni is in Kerala, Murugan in Tamilnadu or Srinivas in Andhra. He is proficient in Kanglish, Bangalore’s lingua franca - a quaint melange of English and Kannada.

      Manjunath greets a fellow Bangalorean, with an opening question, “Ootta aayta or tindi aayta or coffee aaytaa”, irrespective of the time of the day. The reply he routinely hears is - “Eega jeshtu” which means he just finished oottaa  (lunch) or tindi (breakfast /snacks) or coffee.  

     His second question in all probability is, “What is your native saar”?

     Next question could well be, “Saar, own housaa, rented housaa”?

     I have never quite understood why Manjunath refers to a non-vegetarian restaurant as a "Miltry Otlu" ( Military hotel ) and a vegetarian restaurant as  a “darshini or Udupi”.

     Simp-simply, sep-separate and sing-single are expressions he translates from Kannada to English. He thinks Kannada and repeats the expression in English, to emphasize the effect.

     At times he laments about the "one to dabal" (double) price of a "gyaas-silendru", (gas cylinder) if bought in black.

     He describes a gruesome accident as “spaattu”. He means the victim died on the spot!

     When he claims he has no "habits", he actually means he is a teetotaller.

      Full marks in a Maths paper is “out of outtu” (100 out of 100), a meter is a "meettru", a scooter is a "scoottru", a dual sim mobile phone is a "dabal simmu", a branded product is "virginallu", a spurious product is"locallu" and a good looking girl, a " figurru".

     Languages have a novel way of adapting themselves to the demands of  the local milieu.

     Kanglish is a charming dialect, sometimes incomprehensible for the English speaking, non-Kannadiga populace of Bangalore.



Meeeeooooow

                                                      




      There are two categories of people in this world - those who love cats and those who loathe cats. The division is so stark that there is no middle ground and there can be no conversion or migration from one faith to the other.

     I belong to the former faith, the minority, and thoroughly revel in idiosyncrasies of the feline kind.   

     I am 16 cats old, yet can never claim I owned them. Every cat lover understands that one can never own cats as they consent to the luxury of domesticity on their own terms. They are free spirits and don’t like to be restricted like canines.

     There’s always a dog-cat comparison in the pet-world and one senses pride when a cat lover tells a dog lover that cats don’t need toilet training and that they perform the feat with remarkable flair. The cat lover would also smugly assert that a cat is clean and loves grooming itself. On the contrary, you can spend an hour bathing a dog and grooming it and he can roll in the mud soon after, much to the owner’s chagrin.

    Dogs wolf down food while cats dine with decorum, except that, when eating fish, cats forget all about etiquette. A dog’s welcome for the master is always boisterous, even if returning home after a half hour walk. But a cat can be placid and ignore you even if you are returning from a vacation. At best, he might just open his eyes from his snooze and stretch his limbs, which is almost like saying, “Oh, so it’s you” !

     Kitten watching is a delightful pastime but not if you are studying or engaging in serious concentration. They are simply enticing clowns that scamper around with extraordinary ease and fervour, chasing nothing, raising their backs, puffing up their tails or just frolicking with little bits of paper or strings or anything that moves.

     Cats strike a variety of adorable poses and each pose is a reflection of the mood. They can climb heights with ease and soft land gracefully on their four feet. A cat’s purr is the most peaceful sound of happiness and contentment.

     Bangalore is home to a sizeable population of cat lovers, as was evident in the 3rd International Cat Show held here recently. These were among the 80 stunningly beautiful cats, of all sizes, shapes and breeds at the show.















      

Enfant terrible

     Dear Mr. Anchor,   


     You are the self appointed spokesperson of one billion Indians because you claim to represent them and ask questions on their behalf. It is another matter that you don't listen to the answers.

     You love your voice, your face, your TV channel and your self-declared, self-assessed, self-inflated TRP ratings.You choose your guests carefully, introduce them with panache, and over run them with questions. When they begin to reply, you ask more questions, quote from archives, wave a sheaf of papers, inundate them with statistics and overpower them to such an extent that they throw up their arms in despair. You assume the role of the nation’s conscience-keeper and even pressurize them to retract their statements, apologize or resign from their posts for their offences.

     We don’t need a Lokpal/ombudsman when you are perpetually on the prowl. Politicians shudder and spokespersons wince when you remind them of their past and present transgressions. Sometimes when your guest does not show up, you point to the empty chair, just to rub it in that a coward shied away from the debate.

     You frequently proclaim that yours is an open debate, but pray tell me, Mr. Anchor, from which angle is it open? You could instead call it a closed debate where right of admission is reserved for you alone.   

     You pulled off a coup when you interviewed the elusive scion of the erstwhile first family and set the trend for a change in the mood of the nation. His discomfiture was palpable as he sat on the edge of his chair, perspired and fluffed his lines. He dreamed big but you laid his dreams to rest on that famous night.

     Sometimes we wonder why your guests from across the border valiantly show up on the Newshour despite not being able to get their elbow in.Their repeated appearances seem to have made them impervious to your vitriolic barbs. We salute their resilience!

     We, the viewers are not sure whether we love you or despise you or love to despise you. Yet, we tune into your channel day after day to watch you brazenly intimidate, taunt and coerce your hapless guests.

     You are a trendsetter who has transformed the way news is viewed today. You have facilitated and influenced opinions and helped people take a stance on key issues. We acknowledge your service to the nation , Mr. Arnab Goswami !

                                                                                          Yours obediently ,

                                                                       The Nation that awaits answers everyday.